My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
