I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Randomize
