I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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