My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Randomize
