Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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