roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
