All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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