And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
