I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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