I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
