he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
