By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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