Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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