its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
from now on my penis is your penis
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
