yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
