I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
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