I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
