you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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