Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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