it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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