if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Someone stole a lamp last night.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Why did my mother make you get naked?
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