she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
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