I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Randomize
