I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
