Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Randomize
