Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I have fence marks all over my body
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize