Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
My day in three words: secret purse cake
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
