y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
