So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
You don't make any sense
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