Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Randomize
