I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
