his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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