I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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