I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Watching her eat just hurts me
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize