it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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