Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Randomize
