That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
