Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
