put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
