there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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