he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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