chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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