Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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