You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
