i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
love makes seman taste better
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
