I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize