Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
