I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
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