My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
It was confusing and full of hummus
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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