i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
