I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
