I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Randomize
