you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
