Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Your dad touched me again.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize