In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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