She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
You may now shotgun with the bride
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
