But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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