She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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