I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
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