butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
