he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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