I intend to get homeless drunk
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
