I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
