Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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