its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
