He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
