I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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